Post Comp - New Life - Starting Over

Its been nearly 4 months since I stood for the first time on the stage - Everyday I wake up wishing I could re-live that moment. More importantly wishing I still had that physique.

THE COMPETITION 
People warned me about the weight gain post competition and I understood that - I knew it was going to happen regardless of how clean I ate.
My competition was on the 27th of May 2012 - on the 14th of June 2012 I had my flights booked to move across the other side of Australia to live with my partner.
The weeks leading up to the competition I was the most dedicated I had ever been in my life - There was no struggle to get out of bed, every session I got butterflies for, but most importantly the joy I felt seeing my measurements go DOWN. I even refused cake and alcohol on my 21st birthday, which was the 23rd of May a few days before I was stepping on stage!
I was dreaming of the food post competition, the birthday dinner, the catch ups with friends and dreaming of having a BIG sleep in.
I stepped on stage and FLAUNTED myself - I may not have placed anywhere, but I had the BEST day in the world and would not change that experience or the preparation for ANYTHING.

POST COMPETITION
As soon as I stepped off the stage I grabbed a coconut water to restore my electrolytes and rehydrate myself. My best friend, mum and my coach were the only of my friends (aside from those competing already) who were there for me - My mum had to drive home (an hour drive, I love her for making the effort) and my coach had to return home too (she also drove an hour to watch and support me LOVE)

So my best friend and I jumped in the car - straight away I smashed a nougat DOWN and started BUZZING from all the sugar.
We headed into the city to Max Brenners (if you havnt heard of it, GOOGLE IT). I walked through markets, still with my hair and makeup all done, black tan and little shorties. We had to stand in line for a little while, so my best friend and I cracked a bag of Allens lollies to eat in the line..... We were already going to be eating so much sugar in a few moments I dont know why I couldnt wait.
We finally ordered - Fondue for 2 , Chocolate Lava Cake and Brownie Icecream Sundae.
We ate about half of it and both wanted to PUKE, DIE AND TURN BACK TIME!
I was starting to feel a little bit tired so we drove back to Kim's house in which I had a small nap.
I woke up later in the afternoon - feeling ready for some more delicious food! So we headed to the local sushi train to load up on white rice and processed meat (SO MUCH REGRET NOW)... I cant remember how many plates I ate but I can remember Kim saying 'I didnt think you would be able to eat that much'... so I'm guessing it was a fair bit!

We headed home and plugged on a movie and broke out the 2 blocks of chocolate!
I woke up the next morning looking like someone had stuffed pillows inside of my stomach. None the less I still managed to eat like this for the next few days - all of a sudden I realised my clothes were getting a little tighter and I no longer looked like I was in comp condition. I felt awful about myself and wished I hadnt gone so hard on all the CRAP food.


MY LAST WEEKS
I had friends asking me left right and centre to do dinner dates, meet up for lunches and coffees before I left QLD forever. I had already dogged majority of these people during my competition preperation so I went along to most of them and tried to chose wisely but ended up blowing my calories for the day anyway. I no longer had a competition to work towards so I was letting my hair down a little bit.
My birthday dinner came - I hired out a hotel with two of my closest girls Liz and Kim - we PARTIED HARD for the weekend and DO NOT want to think about the amount of calories consumed from alcohol let  along the room service bills or drunk buffet breakfasts. It was insane and I spent two days recovering.

3 days before I left it was my own coaches competition ANB - lots of other girls who did the same competition I did continued to diet and do this one as well.
I was really embarassed for my coach to see me - I felt HUGE and embarassed so I layered myself in a HUGE hoodie in a hope to cover up that she wouldn't feel angry or ashamed of me. Melissa was tooooo consumed in her competition to lay into me (which was a sigh of relief for me) SHE SMASHED IT - I was sooo proud of her :)

PERTH BOUND
A few days later I boarded a plane to head over to Perth - I wasnt sure what was instore for me or what was doing to happen next. I couldnt bring my puppy with me, he had to stay behind with my parents which was probably the hardest part of it all leaving him behind. I love him to pieces so I didnt want to leave him.
The first few weeks here in Perth were awkward - I didnt have a job so i was at home most of the time, just eating and of course gaining more weight.
I couldnt fit into majority of my clothes - during the week I would live in trackpants and hoodies and when the weekend came I would break down into a pile of tears after none of my clothes would fit (derrrrr)
I was still training and doing cardio - my training was BETTER than ever though - all those extra carbs and foods to help fuel me - The positive side to this was gaining a fair bit of muscle!

After a few weeks of trying to get back 'ontrack' and was unsure of actually what ONTRACK was?
Did i have to do cardio now? How many carbs was i meant to be eating? Did i still need to take all my suppliments? Was i allowed 1 or 2 cheat meals?
I was confused and unsure of how to deal with 'off season'. I was trying to build some muscle but also wanted to get rid of this jiggle that was now stuck to me.

I got the push and the motivation I needed when I recieved a phone call about a training video for a big internet company

THE NOW -

Im still too jiggly - I have a fair bit to drop in the next 12 weeks - BUT im confident in myself - the past week Ive been working on sorting my head out and have been working on some goals. I believe I'm in a much better head space and will work closely with my coach POST prep this time to NOT blow out. Last time was horrible - I dont BLAME the whole situation on my birthday and moving away, but this time I wont have ANY of that to distract me :) :)




Tomorrow is the MARK of my 12 week prep until November !
Im veryyyyy veryyyy excited :) xxx

Natasha x